5 years ago

this past weekend I once again loaded everything I owned up in my car and headed out cross country.

I was excited

to start a new/old job

to be surrounded by family and friends

to be in a place that was easier

I was nervous

to leave a project I poured my whole into

was I giving up and running away?

would my new outlook on life blend into my old life?

I was shaking

from the caffeine required to drive 1180 miles by myself

from the rumbling in my car as i coaxed it over the mountains again

from the snowflakes in October

(still in denial about this changing climates thing I only packed skirts)

I was grateful

to friends who welcomed me into their home

to a brother who met me halfway so I had a partner in crime

for having spending a year in a wonderful place and having an adventure

I was worried

that I was making a mistake

that I would regret not pushing through the hard part

that I was giving up

How has it already been 5 years?

I still listen to my fav radio station

I still crave the tacos and the coffee

(and am greatly disappointed they're so hard to find)

I still close my eyes and remember the view during my commute home

5 years and I don't regret it

I have wonderful memories of my adventures

I have confidence in knowing I can hack it by myself

In Cali I grew into myself. I sorted out my beliefs from my families and my friends and traditions that were taught to me. I decided who I was and what is important to me- what I value. What I want from life.

Those 14 months will always stand out as precious time to me. But I'm so glad to be here. To have that adventure and to have made it back home.