a love-hate relationship

with Valentines day

Way back in the day (ie college) I was proudly part of the protesting crowd. I hate Valentines Day! It's a made up holiday! Its Single Awareness Day! I wore black, I snickered at those poor saps with arms full of teddy bears, flowers and chocolates.

Then I became a teacher. And apparently wearing black while the whole classroom is decked out in pink hearts is a bit frowned upon. I mean, I still wore black (much to the chagrin of my director who was decked out in pink frilly glory) But I did up the enthusiasm for the kiddos. Pink and White Streamers for cutting/taping to every surface. Mixing Red and White paint at the easel to discover new colors. Books on love. Special cards made for moms and dads. Sparkly Glitter Confetti. Everywhere. But in my heart I still firmly held onto the protest of Its just made up!

Then I grew up, found someone I love and struggled with the merging of my old mindset and this newfound relationship I was in. I didn't want to just throw in the protesting towel because now i had someone. That made the years of wearing black seem insignificant, like I was just waiting for a man to complete me (of course, that would make my mother proud) And hell No I am not that woman!

But being in a relationship comes with all the questions- what are you doing for Vday? What did Jesse get you? Where are you going to celebrate? And I hated not having an answer to these questions. It seemed much easier to say- its a surprise, flowers and our fav restaurant instead of the truth...I still don't embrace this holiday.

I still sort of think its made up. I still do it up for the kiddos in my classroom, but personally? Nah I'll pass. I'd rather celebrate the days that are important to us...When I first got the invite to meet "my son" When I first started "myspace stalking" him, When we finally had our first date.

But I do like having an answer to the question- so we celebrate Vday in a very us kinda way...

A bottle of wine (mmmm moscato) cooking our favorite dinner- mexican with the most perfectly ripe avocado (and eating the last tortilla shell) and splitting some left over chocolate cake. Yum Yum

Oh and dreaming of potential last minute vacations to the Pacific Northwest. Can this get pulled together in 10 days???

nutrition and child maltreatment

As part of a volunteer program I'm in advocating for kiddos involved in Children's Services I had to attend a training this month. 5 choices...4 of which were all about abuse. Guess which one I did not pick. Cause I already have to renew my "spotting child abuse" certificate which is a 3 hour long class of guess which item left this mark on a kid...yeah not how I want to spend my evening.

My training was a conversation about childhood nutrition, obesity and is this neglect?

This is a topic that often rolls through my head. My instincts scream heck ya this is neglect! Parents are responsible for raising their children. Children eat what they have access too...if the only things in their fridge are cokes, pudding and snacks then thats what they eat. If instead its filled with milk, yogurt, veggies and fruit then thats what they will eat.

However, its not that simple. You've heard of food deserts? If you can't find veggies/fruit at family dollar, and thats the only store near you, then you will fill your fridge with snacks and prepackaged food and cheese from a can.

If I did not have a car, I would not walk the 2 miles to the grocery store...especially if I were towing around lil ones. I would shop at the "beer and wine store" (good price on chips) and the gas station across the street. Cause hot dogs for 20 cents would go a long way towards filling up hungry bellies.

A fabulous organization in my town...Local Matters. They are working to fix this problem. To get good food where it is needed the most. Into those schools, into those neighborhoods.

So yes it is neglect. But not parental neglect. It's society, its the city planners, its the damn suburbs that steal life from the inner city, its the crime and lack of appeal for stores to open in various neighborhoods, its the lack of opportunity especially without a car, especially without education.

Which gets me thinking about the whole cyclical nature of this beast. You parent the way you were parented. You value what you were shown should be important growing up. You cook the way you were taught to cook. It is so near impossible to break out of that cycle.

I'm lucky. When I don't know how to cook something, I look for recipes online. Because a) I have a computer. b) I can afford the internet and c) I have a desire to try new recipes. But if I only had 1.00 to spend on food, why would I even think about trying something new that I may not like? With limited resources you have to stick to what you know will fill up hungry bellies.

Which makes me wonder...with all these smart phones with instant internet access...which end up being cheaper than a cell phone bill plus buying a computer plus paying for an internet connection...is there a way to use this technology to change these environments and disrupt these cycles.

And don't even get me started on school lunches. Yes I support that bellies are getting filled. But I am appalled at what they serve. And seriously...if you keep taking money away from schools, how do you expect them to afford to spend more than the government allowance on food. Said allowance does not even cover food costs much less the costs of hiring someone to prepare the food. And yes, it is going to be much cheaper to higher someone to reheat food than to hire a qualified/passionate person to actually make the food.

But society needs to suck it up and start pouring money into these cafeterias. Cause saying we provide 1 meal a day is half assed. Pizza does not make a meal. Hot dogs do not make a meal. School meals should be a place where we are introducing new foods, new tastes where we are safe from the picky eater demanding chicken nuggets from the freezer. Cause in a school you eat what is served. Cafeterias are full of hungry bellies waiting to be filled- lets fill it with good stuff.

But it costs money. I can't think of a better place to spend the money. A captive audience just waiting for lunch. Imagine what can happen if we change their taste buds. What can happen if they learn how yummy fruits/veggies are. What can happen if they learn how to prepare the more unusual ingredients. But we have to get them while their young.