Tuesday, February 15, 2011

a love-hate relationship

with Valentines day

Way back in the day (ie college) I was proudly part of the protesting crowd. I hate Valentines Day! It's a made up holiday! Its Single Awareness Day! I wore black, I snickered at those poor saps with arms full of teddy bears, flowers and chocolates.

Then I became a teacher. And apparently wearing black while the whole classroom is decked out in pink hearts is a bit frowned upon. I mean, I still wore black (much to the chagrin of my director who was decked out in pink frilly glory) But I did up the enthusiasm for the kiddos. Pink and White Streamers for cutting/taping to every surface. Mixing Red and White paint at the easel to discover new colors. Books on love. Special cards made for moms and dads. Sparkly Glitter Confetti. Everywhere. But in my heart I still firmly held onto the protest of Its just made up!

Then I grew up, found someone I love and struggled with the merging of my old mindset and this newfound relationship I was in. I didn't want to just throw in the protesting towel because now i had someone. That made the years of wearing black seem insignificant, like I was just waiting for a man to complete me (of course, that would make my mother proud) And hell No I am not that woman!

But being in a relationship comes with all the questions- what are you doing for Vday? What did Jesse get you? Where are you going to celebrate? And I hated not having an answer to these questions. It seemed much easier to say- its a surprise, flowers and our fav restaurant instead of the truth...I still don't embrace this holiday.

I still sort of think its made up. I still do it up for the kiddos in my classroom, but personally? Nah I'll pass. I'd rather celebrate the days that are important to us...When I first got the invite to meet "my son" When I first started "myspace stalking" him, When we finally had our first date.

But I do like having an answer to the question- so we celebrate Vday in a very us kinda way...
A bottle of wine (mmmm moscato) cooking our favorite dinner- mexican with the most perfectly ripe avocado (and eating the last tortilla shell) and splitting some left over chocolate cake. Yum Yum

Oh and dreaming of potential last minute vacations to the Pacific Northwest. Can this get pulled together in 10 days???

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